So Many Frogs...Not Enough Prozac - a dating memoir by Sammi Robin

We've all heard the story. You know, the one about the beautiful
princess who was locked in a tower by her wicked stepmother waiting
for her handsome prince to come and rescue her. Naturally, he did and
they lived happily ever after. Like most women, I long for the fairy
tale. I watch rom-com's, dream about finding my perfect soulmate and
imagine that my prince will ride up to my shared one bedroom apartment
on a white horse, or at least pull up to the nearest bar in a white
Escalade.

Unfortunately, what the fairy tales don't tell you, is that the road
to happily ever after is often filled with many heartbreaks,
disappointments and lots of frogs! I've kissed (ahem, polite euphemism
for had sex with) my share of frogs and I'm not talking about a prince
in frog's clothing. I've spent way too much time crying over and
analyzing guys who filled my head with false promises, treated me like
total crap and weren't even worthy of polishing my stilettos, let
alone placing one on my foot.

I remember after one particularly bad heartbreak, (the guy pretty much
ripped my heart out and handed it back to me in a proverbial blender)
I found myself sitting on the floor of the self-help aisle of Barnes &
Noble. I was bawling my eyes out and surrounded by titles such as
"It's Called A Break Up Because It's Broken" and "Why Men Love
Bitches." I was scaring customers, and quite frankly, I was scaring
myself. While these books offered some amazing insights and advice,
what I really wanted were the stories. Not just little snippets, but
all of the truly gory details. I wanted to know there was someone else
out there who made the most mortifying mistakes one can possibly make
in a relationship. I wanted to know there was someone else out there
who felt exactly the way I was feeling in that moment.

 I'm going to let you into my little pink book. I've been involved
with identical twins, comedians, reality stars, and everyone in
between. I even had a fling with my ultimate teen idol, which
irrevocably changed me, and not necessarily for the better. Most
importantly, I've been "that girl." The girl who falls in love, gets
dumped and does everything wrong. "Drunken text messages" are my
middle name. You know the letter where you pour your heart out about
how much you loved him and how much he hurt you? The one you write but
are NEVER supposed to send? Oh, I've sent. I'll even let you read it.

 With all the advances in modern technology, you would think that they
would have come up with an easy cure for heartbreak like a pill or
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And while Prozac and tequila
can help in the short run (NOT taken together), there really is no
easy fix. Still, I'm hoping that my stories (and some stories
contributed by the amazing women in my life) will help ease the pain a
little.

 Believe me, I've been there. I mean I've REALLY been there. Like I
said, I've been involved with every type of guy on the planet and I'm
not going to hold anything back. This book is 50 shades of heartbreak,
mistakes and lessons learned.

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