"The Mayonnaise Murders" a sci-fi/fantasy detective novel by Keith A. Owens

http://astore.amazon.com/mayonnaisemurders-20

      "For the record, my name is Vid. It's short for a name you don't wanna bother trying to pronounce if you're from Earth. Anyway, I solve problems. It's not what I always did, but things change and here I am. Stuck up to my gills in other critters' problems on good ole Planet 10.

     "Once again, if you're an Earthling reading this, I meant that literally. You folks have a habit of making up cute little sayings and whatnot. Working your tail off. Sweatin' like a pig. Up to your neck in.

    "This ain't one of those. I have gills. Deal with it.

    "As for Johnny Beardy, he didn't have gills because he was one of yours. What you folks like to call a rock star. But being without gills wouldn't explain why young Mr. Beardy was found butt-naked dead in one of Vivacious 5's more notorious back alleys at night, face down in a sandwich. A really big pork sandwich with mayonnaise on it."

 

     On Planet 10, pork is fine but mayonnaise is illegal. Used as an essential ingredient in the highly addictive drug MayoMadd, mayonnaise has long been banned for the safety of the colonies which has been free of the MayoMadd craze for years. So then where did the mayonnaise come from? And who has enough pull to get it delivered to Planet 10? Or is somebody manufacturing it, and if so where are they getting the ingredients? Is sandwich spread really that important to a critter, and where does a dead rock star fit into all this?

            That's what Vid has to find out, with more than a little help from Vee, a shapely news reporter with no shortage of attitude and an arsenal of quick comebacks wrapped in as much barbed wire as humor. What they eventually uncover is the biggest story of Vee's career, but it could also pose one of the biggest threats to Earth's teenagers – especially those with a taste for chemical thrills. The whole twisted affair could turn both Vid and Vee into wanted criminals just for playing too close to the fire.

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