Two Cats and a Kid - A coming-of-age fantasy by Norman Weinstein



During a frightful February blizzard two weird strangers, Evalina Belle and Thomas Beau, enter the Wellington household, apparently having homed in on the beams sent out by almost equally weird Trudy Wellington, a precocious and somewhat obnoxious tween convinced she has lived before and who determines to rescue her parents from "zombie land". This amusing modern fable should be useful in sizing up that next stranger who knocks on your door or in teaching family members, especially parents, how to be better people, even if they are dedicated bores. 

(TRUDY slowly rises, briefly stares at MISTER VENABLE, then at her parents before she tightly shuts her eyes and presses her fingers against them as she stands on tiptoe. Meanwhile, her parents, puzzled, stare at her, and exchange worried glances. Chanting, she slowly waves her arms about.) Grambo‑poo and esta‑roo-singha‑floo, resta‑goo, fasta‑dorf, higgy‑gruf!
CARTER. Oh, my God, she’s doing it again! Dorothea, she’s doing it again! Like that time with that fish! Our daughter’s a maniac! Oh, why us? It’s weird! Why us?
TRUDY. Weesta‑dorm reesta‑lor stella‑slaf too‑muh‑door! (Slowly removes her fingers from her eyes, opens them, then stares strangely at her parents as she slowly sinks back into her chair.) Whew! (Looks at VENABLE and gives him a wonder‑if‑it’ll‑work? look.)
DOROTHEA. Trudy, I don’t have a clue what you’re doing, but obviously you have very positive feelings about this blizzard. Now I think we should be a little practical here. Frankly, Dear, this storm’s so bad you might miss school tomorrow.
TRUDY. Thank you, God, oh, thank you, God!
..........

(They all rush to the door, with the exception of MISTER VENABLE, who hangs back. With a whoosh of wind, the door flies open as CARTER turns the knob. There stumbles in a bedraggled woman, EVALINA BELLE. Her askew beret fails to conceal her tangled hair. Her coat is also a mess. TRUDY, enormously excited and happy, claps her hands, but MISTER VENABLE quickly surveys the scene and backs away. TRUDY, noticing, waves goodbye, and he returns the wave before exiting.)
EVALINA. (Pitifully but loudly.) Muh‑rowwwll!

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