UGLY TUCKLING by G.L. Sheridan

Ever been fat? Felt unattractive? Afraid of the opposite sex?
Yeah, well then, you have something in common with Cornelius Tuckling. He's thirty years old and never been kissed...well, maybe a kiss, but none of the other stuff. It's because he's fat. Has no self-confidence. Honestly, it's getting him down.
Or it was. He tastes some dodgy-smelling stuff in his mate's fridge, before going for a pre-birthday drink at The King's Teeth, where he gets sozzled on Jewish whisky.
Not surprising then that he has a hallucination in the small hours of the night: Morgan Freeman in Maggie Thatcher drag - powder blue skirt and frilly-neck blouse - appears and speaks to him in a Lancashire accent, telling him - Tha can't taste a thing.
When he wakes up, he finds it's true. And of course, it has an effect on his appetite. He's thrilled when he begins to lose weight. But what about his job as a chef? Why does the pretty new neighbour keep fluttering her eyelashes at him? And why does a high-class hooker so eager to paint his naked portrait?